MERRY CHRISTMAS

It’s Christmas time again and every year I pull this out. I originally wrote it in 1985 and have given it as a gift every year since then. Roland thought it was funny then and I see no reason for him to change his mind about it now.
So, Merry Christmas everyone! Charmian


December 13
My Dearest Roland

I was thrilled to receive your wonderful gift today! The tree looks beautiful in the yard and there is a live partridge in it. She seems to think she is at home there and I try not to disturb her. What a wonderfully, unusual gift.
Your true love,
Charmian

December 14
Dearest Roland:

How romantic of you! The two turtle doves are absolutely beautiful and they sound so nice. Their cage will stay in our bedroom and every time I look at them I will think loving thoughts of you. Thank you so much for being so sweet to me.
I love you,
Charmian

December 15
Dearest:

Well, well! How special. What a surprise! Three French hens – my goodness. I’m speechless. How nice. I think I’ll put them in the tree with the partridge.
Fondly
Charmian

December 16
Dear Roland:

The four calling birds are in the tree with the rest of the birds – they don’t seem to like it there.
Your wife
C.

December 17
Roland:
Am I supposed to know the significance of five gold rings? I’m so glad you didn’t send more birds! Now I have rings for one whole hand – maybe I should find bells for my toes and go to a party! You don’t do things half heartedly, do you? Thank you for thinking of me.
Love,
Charmian

December 18
Roland:

What is with you and your sudden love of birds? Do you have any idea how mean geese are when they’re nesting? You know, they say absence makes the heart grow fonder. Well, absence has shown a side of you that I never knew existed.
Charmian

December 19
Roland Gatlin

I don’t know what sort of fetish you have suddenly developed with birds (and I don’t care to know). What the hell are you doing? Do you know how many birds are living here now? Twenty three! The seven swans swim in the lake and crap on the dock, the geese are constantly honking about the swans getting close to their eggs and they crap in the yard. And the calling birds – thank God that’s a misnomer. I haven’t seen the partridge for three days. I can only hope she is migratory. For God’s sake – no more birds.
I am disconcerted,
Charmian

December 20
Mr. Roland Gatlin

You know I detest sick humor. I don’t deserve this! Why are you sending me such bizarre “gifts”? The cows and the eight milkmaids made a mess of the neighborhood. The cows frightened the geese into the neighbor’s garage. When he came out to get into his car one of the geese bit him. Not only do I have swan shit on the dock and goose shit in the yard, but now I also have fresh cow patties everywhere. There are fourteen buckets of milk on the kitchen counter and those milkmaids eat like horses. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT send me anymore gifts and you had better not come home any time soon. You must be some kind of pervert to think of doing something like this. This is not funny!
C.G.

December 21
You IDIOT

The police were here. They were investigating complaints about the animals. While they were here the nine “ladies” appeared on my doorstep. I shudder to think where you may have found them. The policeman took one look at them and called for reinforcements. He seemed to like it when the told him they were “waiting”. The neighbor with the goose bite came over all aglow and the police issued a not so subtle warning to me about solicitation. I’m just very thankful that the cops didn’t see milkmaids. I don’t want to deal with you! You are sick!

December 24

Listen, horse’s ass, I have had it! You are a menace and must be mentally deranged to think of these things. The ten leaping lords scared the hell out of me when I opened the door. The cows were so frightened by the pipers that they stampeded and crushed the nativity scene in the neighbor’s yard. One of the cows got her foot caught in the plastic baby Jesus and that caused quite a stir among the children across the street. The lords a leaping trampled the goose eggs. When the pipers tuned up the swans and geese panicked and attacked the milkmaids. The odor is unbelievable. There are thirty eight (38!) people here not counting me and all is not calm and bright. If you appear on my doorstep any time soon I’ll rip your face off. Do you understand?
C. G.

December 25, 1998
Hughes, Howard, Shultz and Nemitz Attys.

Re: Telephone Conversation December 21

Things have gotten worse! There are now, on my property, twelve drummers, eleven pipers, ten leaping lords, nine “ladies”, eight milk maids, seven swans, six geese, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves and a possible partridge. The “ladies” are no longer say they are waiting, nine of the lords leapt at that opportunity. One of the lords became enamored with one of the drummers and the pipers are talking about forming a rock group with the milkmaids as vocalists. The problem seems to be no one can play a synthesizer. All of the birds and cows are still here. I will pay you with the gold rings. The pear tree and what is probably the best-fertilized lawn and dock in the area are crawling with thrill seekers. I want that jerk stopped!
Sincerely
Charmian Gatlin

Hughes, Howard, Shultz and Nemitz Attys.

Your client, Charmian Gatlin, has signed a written release and requested that we notify you she is unable, at this time, to comply with your request for information. She is a patient here and is expected to remain in our locked facility for at least six more weeks. She has only recently reconnected with reality but the connection is tenuous. Ms. Gatlin occasionally hallucinates and seems to believe birds and other animals are destroying her. She is not currently deemed dangerous to herself or others however, our optimism is guarded. Hopefully she will be available for a consultation with you in about four weeks. We understand most of the charges against her have been dropped. Hopefully your power of attorney will be adequate to handle the remaining legal problems. We will update you on her progress as appropriate.
Whispering Pines Psychiatric Hospital

Looking Forward

Our Thanksgiving was very quiet and unstressful this year. We had our feast on Sunday with me Holly, Deana, Kelly, Delaney, and Austin. It was really pleasant and the food was great. Then on Thanksgiving day I made some "Santa Fe Soup" and sweet potato biscuits with the potatos left over from Sunday. That soup is unbelievably easy (it came from the wife of a boy scout leader who camps a lot) and it is delicious. The recipe is on the recipe section of this blog.

I'm preparing for my South America trip. We (I'm travelling with Ann) fly to Santiago, Chile on Sunday December 7 and sail to Punta Arena, Chile, Ushuaia, Argentina then around Cape Horn. We will visit the Falkland Islands, Montevideo, Uruguay and Buenos Aires, Argentina then end up in Rio De Janerio, Brazil and fly home from there on December 23. I'll complete three of my "100 things" list; sail around Cape Horn, see the Southern Cross and see Sugarloaf Mountain. We'll also get to see the tango done by Argentinan dancers. I'm looking forward to being away from work for two weeks - burn out takes its toll!

Holly and Deana and I will be spending Christmas alone this year. Kelly and Delaney and Austin are going to Texas for 2 weeks. Holly, Deana and I go to Utah in January for Lexie's birthday. I was looking at the pictures of her (Lexie) on Megan's blog. She and Austin looks so much alike! Just look - It's amazing.

THANKSGIVING

The Gatlin's, part of the Wood's, and part of the Stephanson's will be celebrating Thanksgiving on Sunday, November 23. As is typical of every holiday Holly has to work and Deana will probably go to her Other Grandma's for dinner. What's new is Kelly and Delaney and Austin are thinking about going to Texas for Thanksgiving. I'm spoiled enough to insist on having the family (those who are here) together for a celebration even if it is on the wrong day. Give us a call. We'll all be here I hope.

HISTORY

I have been glued to the presidential campaign for weeks and then was glued to the election results. It doesn't make any difference who I voted for. I was strongly moved, start to finish, by the excitement and emotion of Obama's win. When McCain gave his consession speach I was moved by his eloquence and sincerity and the effort he was making toward reunification. Obama's acceptance speech was wonderful and fitting for such an historical event. This election is, by far, the most important election of my lifetime.

When Obama talked about the 106 year old woman who voted I cried. Just imagine, she is a witness of 103 years of United States history. She saw New Mexico and Arizona admitted, live the horror of WWI and WWII, experienced prohibition, and the ratification of the 19th amendment allowing women to vote. She heard about Lindbergh crossing the Atlantic non-stop, the market crash of 1929 occurred, and Native Americans were granted citizenship while retaining their status in the tribe. She was told Japan attacked Pearl Harbor then the US A-bombed Japan. She heard about Blacks boycotting buses in Alabama and the Supreme Court ordered school desegregation. We were involved in a war with Korea. Alaska and Hawaii were admitted, the civil rights movement began, John F. Kennedy was assassinated. There were angry demonstrations against the Vietnam War and the Hippie movement came and went. Man landed on the moon. Watergate happened and Nixon resigned as President. There was the Moral Majority, Star Wars, personal computers, CDs, VCRs, and cable TV was common. And, of course there was the Web and animals were cloned. Amazing!

For the first time in a long long time there seems to be hope for our nation and a willingness to embrace diversity. It feels like a democracy. It feels like a United country. I am no longer afraid to take my US Flag cane with me when I travel outside the US. And I no longer say I'm embarassed to say I'm an American.... there is hope.

Deana's Homecoming and Halloween

Deana went to the homecoming dance for her High School Friday night (Halloween). She looked so pretty. Brian, "he's just a friend", was adorable too. I guess he must be 15 because he doesn't drive - his father brought him to pick up Deana. When she got home I asked her if she had a good time. Her response, "It was awesome"

It took Holly and Kelly, Deana's sister, about an hour and a half to curl her hair.
I'm so proud of her. She knows how to have a good time, laugh with her friends and family, and maintain her good attitude (usually!)

GENERATION Y

In its January 22, 2008 edition, the Quebec City, Canada, newspaper,
Le Soleil, had a topic about generations by age group.

Generations are grouped as follows:

The Silent generation, people born before 1945.
The Baby Boomers, people born between 1945 and 1961.
Generation X, people born between 1962 and 1976.
Generation Y, people born between 1977 and 1989.
Why do we call the last one generation Y. I did not know, but
A caricaturist explains it eloquently below...Learned something new!

SOME WHERE OVER THE RAINBOW IS ANOTHER RAINBOW

Holly sent me this shot of a double rainbow over the space shuttle launch site. We see them quite often here but this is really impressive. You can just barely see the second rainbow.