LONG TIME, NO POST

I'm remembering Roland today more strongly than other days. I went to the lake and sat there listening to music and watching the birds. We use to do that together. I see so much he would have enjoyed talking about. The moon was HUGE as it came up tonight. It was sort of orange with a few clouds passing in front of it. I was driving home from work when I saw it. it was sort of like a warm message saying "all is well".


So far this year has been full of events which are out of my control. Actually I'm no sure anything is ever in my control. We had a break in - actually a walk in because I think I left the front door unlocked. They took a little money, folled up silver coins from Roland's parent's safe, my camera, Deana's camera, an electronic game thingy, Holly's video camera, some jewelry, and some letters. The losses are not the most bothersome part of all this. It's the invasion of our privacy, the feeling of vulnerability, and mostly, for me, being unable to get past thinking Iknow who is responsible.

Kelly and Delaney and Austin moved to Louisiana and I'm very sad about that. Of course I still talk to them a lot but it just isn't the same as having them close by.

Holly lost her job a Disney after 14 years. She thinks she will be rehired soon - guess we'll wait and see.

Deana turned 16 and I have no photos because I have no camera now. She made the decision to go out with her friends and celebrate and have birthday cake at home. She wore a tiara to school that day and celebrated in most of her classes. I wish I had had that much confidence when I was 16!

My work has slowed down somewhat but I've had to testify in court twice in the past month. It pays well but it is nerve wracking for me. In one case the Judge told the man I was testifying about he was facing 75 years in prison. I know he is paying the consequences of his actions but I still felt a huge sense of responsibility. His life of freedom hinged on what I had to say. The judge ended up putting the man on probation.

So much for what is going on now.